South Park characters - Who will win these street fights?

Tell me who you think would win between these South Park characters. Give a short reason after each choice. Please try to be civilized. To even be considered for Best Answer, you have to answer all items, and give a short reason for all choices. In other words, Earn Your Points.





Here are the rules: These are street fights. No weapons! No gloves. No home court advantage. The fight is over when the other fighter is knocked out, or says "I give" (or tries to say it).





1. Cartman vs Token


2. Stanley vs. Kyle


3. Kenny vs. Butters


4. Jimmy vs. Timmy


5. Mrs. Garrison vs. Mr. Mackey


6. Slave vs. Chef





This Question was inspired by Euripedes B. Thank you!

South Park characters - Who will win these street fights?
1. Token cause cartman is fat so he'll be too slow, plus one time kyle punched him and he cried like a baby


2. Stanley, i think he'll win cause he has a lot of practice fighting his sister shelly, he might not win against her but i think he would win against kyle


3. Kenny cause butters is a HUGE push over, i feel REALLY bad for him and he's very naive so kenny will probably trick him somehow


4. Jimmy cause he could beat timmy with his crutches


5. "mrs." garrison would kick mr mackey's butt cause he's like an angry ****** all the time, like the episode where him and the lesbos fought the persians, Mrs. garrison would totally win


6. Chef would win cause Slave likes being tied up and beaten so it's a win win situation
Reply:1) token because cartman's kind of a sissy, and probobly couldn't stand more than a few punches


2) kyle - he has a lot of pent up anger


3) butters -- kenny will die in a freak accident


4) timmy -- he has run over jimmy wht his wheelchair


5) mrs. garrison -- she will fight hard and fight dirty


6) chef -- CHEF IS AWESOME
Reply:token hes black


stan he aint a jew


kenny hes not gay


timmy i consider his wheel chair as a weapon


garrison she gets crazy in her moments


chef hes freakin dark vader


( not being racist just blending in with the south park theme )
Reply:1. Cartman: He'll kick Token in the nuts and that will be the end. I don't care who you are, one shot to the chones and you go down.


2. Stanley: He'd psych Kyle out with the old "...Hey look over there" move.


3. Butters: He is a ticking time bomb. Besides, Kenny always gets his but kicked and hen he dies.


4. Jimmy: Timmy can do much without his chair, and you said no weapons.


5. Mrs. Garrison: She is one wacky hermaphrodite. And she knows Kung Fu.


6. Chef: He is a bad MO FO.
Reply:1. Token~ because cartman will talk his way out of a fight.


2. Kyle~ because he has a bad temper.


3. Kenny~ because he isn't afraid to die.


4. Timmy~ because he has the advantage to stand over Jimmy and wail on him.


5. Mrs. Garrison~ because he'll fight for what he believes in.


6. Chef~ because Slave will just want to screw.
Reply:1: Token, because after all those years of predijice against him from cartman, this is a perfect chance to teah him lesson by some shodow boxing, besides, fat people cant fight for dick, after 5 seconds of movment, the lactic acid takes over them completly.





2. Stan, because kyles pussy morals would come out, then out of the blue get soccer puncheds and get knocked out cold.





3. Kenny, because what does he have to loose. Butter drinks his own pee.





4. Jimmy, he can surve behind timmys chair and break his neck with his critches, not a fair fight by the way.





5. mr. Garrison may be a gaggit, but he would own macky in seconds.





6. Chef, beacuse he knows if he looses, we will no longer be black but a ****** also.
Reply:Cartman because he once threw a rock at Token and he got hurt badly.


Kyle because he mostly fight all the time with Cartman and Stan he never likes to fight.


Kenny because Butters is a wimp and Kenny is not a wimp.


Timmy because Jimmy has to force is body to hit him and Timmy he doesn't need to force his body.


Mrs.Garrison because she has good fighting skills and she likes to fight dirty.


Chef because he is fat and he has more strenghth than Slave.